Moped Down!

Friday afternoon and I'm patiently heading down Kapiolani Blvd. Ok, it's a mildly patient fashion, I'm still aggressively seeking the least congested lane, but starting to accept that this is full on rush hour on the bustling island of Oahu and I might as well settle in and stick with the left lane (since the right lane has begun to sink into the gutter in disrepair). I put on my "Drive with Aloha" attitude, and seconds later I see a moped go down in front of me. He and many other cars were at a dead stop, so it was a bit of a surprise to see a previously steady scooter topple over without provocation, but this is Hawaii, and the contest for the biggest driving blunder has steep competition. I put the car in park, fortunately in my recently zenned mindset, and prepare to be severely delayed. Then I think, "Oh, he might need my medical help!" and get out of the car. The 20 something year old male then jumps back on his moped and zips away. I'm happy and surprised that he departs unharmed, then see his cellphone on the ground. Several other drivers have stopped to help as well, and we are all now quite concerned for this poor boy, running off without what is surely his most valued possession. Like a hot potato the phone is passed around the group, eventually to a beautiful girl on a Biki bike. She quickly pedals toward the red streak that has turned down the road and I'm relieved that this incident has all passed in under a minute. As I drive away, I spot the star of what has now become a comedy show. He's in line at the Taco Bell drive through, the site of which caused his sudden spill from the scooter. No sober human in their right mind eats at Taco Bell. That crash from a stop was a drunken move, and he barely noticed it happened in his rush to get his drunk grub. That boy was enjoying his Friday pau hana in full, not quite realizing how much gratitude he owes his friendly neighbors who recovered his phone and kept this from being the sob story of his weekend. He is now free to spend the rest of his days off enjoying scooting under the influence, spending his hard earned money on beer and fast food, rather than taking on new debt to cover the cost of a replacement device to maintain his tinder connections. Beware single ladies.